Thursday, March 06, 2008

Kostal Kitsch

While driving down the Coast it seems that every little berg and hamlet has a shop where one can buy things such as statuary of gulls perched on a piece of driftwood or on something that looks like a piling. Now to me, gulls are rats with wings. Though social creatures that tolerate and thrive from human activity, they are troublesome in their numbers. Visit the transfer station some day and watch them fight and squawk and shitting on everything in sight. If gulls started appearing on my lawn I would have to review my position regarding having a dog.

I just wonder if there are actual people out there who purchase these gull statues and think they are charming. This could truly be the next incarnation of the pink flamingos that appear on someone’s lawn, except they would be harder to get rid of. At least there are people who collect pink flamingo items.

Someone must be buying them. They are for sale everywhere. Or is it possible that these shops have had them since the 50s? It may be kind of like the myth of the Christmas fruit cake, wandering the earth like spirits that can't die.

Next, is anyone buying those cedar wind mills that you see people selling out of vans at any wide spot in the road? I never see anyone with one in their yard. They are too small for the miniature golf courses and generally too useless and ugly for mass consumption. The only place you might see them is in the yards of the people who make them, and somehow I doubt one would see them there either.


Blogger Auntie said...

cedar windmills make excellent "re-gifts"

5:50 AM  
Blogger Hahn at Home said...

Wow, this is a phenomenon that has eluded me thus far. When I was growing up it was little birch bark canoes everywhere when I went to Minnesota - canoe lighter, canoe lamp, canoe jewelry, canoe toys.

6:09 AM  
Blogger Chantel said...

My Aunt had a cement yard filled with wind mills and wishing wells all painted purple with yellow trim. She lives in Ohio maybe its only the Land Locked State Residents that like that stuff. Therefore we dont' have to see it.

7:18 AM  
Blogger Mike S said...

There's a whole cottage industry here in summer selling this stuff to the 'flatlanders'. If the yard is a nice 'garden yard' a wishing well can look good along a pathway:)

7:33 AM  
Blogger Crowbar said...


In defense of the gull, have you ever considered the consequence of them not doing what they do? I wonder what might happen if suddenly there were no scavenger birds. I've got a hunch it wouldn't be a good thing.

4:58 PM  
Blogger Rich said...

There's no accounting for taste. I used to drive past a house which had the entire front lawn covered with lawn furniture. I never saw any of it in use. It was not for sale. It just sat there. Maybe somewhere there is a lawn covered in windmills of all description. There is only one buyer.

6:29 PM  
Blogger Beth said...

I don't "do" kitsch - in any way, shape or form.

5:24 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Auntie, but someone has to buy one to get the whole thing going.

Lori, That's right, I forgot about the mid-west, they have their own thing going on.

Chantel, so you only visit coastal states, interesting. What about Great Lake states?

Mike it sounds like you've tinkered in this cottage industry.

Crowbar, you are right and that food to life ratio is amazing, but they are still rats with wings.

Rich, reminds me of the old joke, "What do you call a drunken Irishman sleeping on the lawn?" Pati O'Furniture.

Beth, come on, I bet if you let us poke around we'd find some somewhere. How about a sweatshirt with some writing on it?

5:44 AM  

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