Sunday, May 11, 2008

I Still Don't Get It

Maybe it’s because I’m old and maybe it’s because I’m a douche, but I still don’t get tattoos. I don’t get piercing, nor do I get shortly cropped dyed blond hair. I don’t get goatees or low rider pants. I don't get repeat offenders. Is it stupidity or obsession that drives people to a life of crime?

I don’t get camo clothing. It doesn't make you less visible unless you are squatting in some bushes. Speaking of which I have a friend who was bow hunting one day and it got unseasonably warm so he removed his camo jacket. Some time goes by and he forgets about it, and he finds himself needing to take a crap... You guessed it, he crapped right on his jacket. That was good camo.


Blogger Beth said...

I'll add to the list "chin strap" beards, thongs (a permanent wedgie?) and trendy coffee addictions.
I'll grant you we're getting old but I draw the line at us being douches.

6:09 AM  
Blogger Uncle Walt said...

Most criminals turn to crime because they're too lazy to get a real job, and it's easier to steal someone else's hard-earned money/stuff than to earn the money to buy their own. Which, luckily, is also why most criminals get caught. Because they're too lazy to do any work actually on planning their "getaway".

I heard a couple years ago that the military was asking for designs for "urban camo" clothing. I say it would depend on what part of the city you were in. Jeans and a T-shirt would work in some areas, but a suit would be required in others. Still, someone carrying a battle rifle and 60-lb pack is going to stand out.

7:11 AM  
Anonymous Columbiacontolfreak said...

The soul patch. Ughh. Worse, dreadlocks on a white person, shudder.

My brother and his friends wore camo before it was fashionable because you could buy quality army castoffs for less than half of what normal clothes cost. Back then wearing camo marked you as poor. When it became Uber trendy to wear battered camo I fulled his boxes of hard used camo out of the garage and sold them for a hell of a lot more than he paid for them.

7:41 AM  
Anonymous nemo said...

I still don’t get tattoos. I don’t get piercing, nor do I get shortly cropped dyed blond hair. I don’t get goatees.

And all this time I thought I was the only one. So sick of that look. I've never understood the shaved-head-gold-earing-goatee-tatoo combo. It wasnt that long ago that if you ran into some cat wearing an earring, or one in each ear that he would've been considered someone to avoid lest you be labled as someone who liked to sashay around with queers.

I think myself, like a lot of guys my age group, like old army clothes because we remember our dads wearing their old WWII army duds when doing grunt dirty work around the house or ranch or hunting and fishing. In the early 60s there was still really good deals on Army Surplus field jackets, pants, tshirts etc. Man, back then a trip to Andy&Bax's or GI Joes was something to look forward to with great joy. Army surplus was cheap, the quality was durable and it was easily had.

12:38 PM  
Blogger Syd said...

He shat on his jacket? HAHAHAHA

OMG, that's funny as...well, shit.

1:25 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Beth, sometimes it's fun being a douche.

Walt, I like the idea of urban camo. One could dress up as a giant fire hydrant, but there are potential dangers with that. Though you could stand in front of a car so people would get tickets.

CCF, I'm kind of liking dreads. I'd be tempted if I had the hair for it.

Nemo, did they have camo back then? I remember army clothing just being green and the camo was on nets above the encampments.

Syd, yep, a direct hit.

5:29 AM  
Blogger Hahn at Home said...

I decided not to get a tattoo because I didn't want anyone at the funeral home to be traumatized by my sagging, old flesh full of tattoos. The visual made me draw the line. Worse, guys like the guy in the picture will never ever even be able to try and pass as "normal" even if it turns out this is a phase. Pretty dumb-ass short sighted.

6:48 AM  
Blogger Bpaul said...

Sorry to say, the goatee isn't going to be shaved before we meet for coffee some time in the future sir.

You'll get used to it. I don't have "the look" that's being talked about on this thread either, so I think it's a different situation possibly.

I'd say i tend to look more like a logger or irish fishermen than an urban hipster.

10:06 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

You are a babe, Lori.

Bpaul, you can walk around with a dog ass on your face all you want. All I'm saying is I just don't get it. ; )

2:45 PM  
Blogger Bpaul said...


2:51 PM  
Blogger Denis said...

Face it, you'd be happy with any hair style if it meant you had hair again.

And I like my honeys goatee. Usually he does the full beard in the winter but when he has to wear a respirator for a job he shaves to fit.

7:55 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Hair? I've got an Einstein thing going on. I'm looking forward to losing my hair because I dislike making appointments to get it cut.

9:30 AM  
Blogger Angela Fearless said...

ok.....I'm a bit younger and maybe could shed some light on some of these things....and I'll try not to be too bitchy about the people who used rude words like "lazy" and "queers"
ok....all of these things you describe are some form or mode of expression! and since each individual is as different as each snow is their expression!
~Camo used to be a sign of the poor folk...but now it is in upscale fashion magazines...and the reason for this is simple...WE ARE AT WAR!!! or did you forget about the trillions of dollars and millions of lives being wasted? (most Americans have) as with all changes with the times and current events...and reflects things happening in society, and our society is becoming more and more militant. Hence Military clothing becoming in style!
~Criminals....and especially repeat offenders usually do so (not cuz they are simply lazy) but because the "Justice" System is like a vicious circle...and it traps mostly minorities and poor folk! This of course doesn't pertain to stupid fucks like child molesters and rapists (who, by the way, are the most common repeat offenders...and the most likely to get out early...yay for Justice!)
~Intolerance of people who are different ought to be taken very is intolerance and ignorance which causes things like the Holocaust!
~oh, and tattoo's are just cool! Duh?!!!! I have wings on my back (cuz my name means Angel) and I plan to have the Oregon State Motto tattooed under my wings!
"Alis Volat Propiis!" That my friends is expression of myself and my love for my home state!
Expression as different and as unique as I am! Tolerance is not accepting people's differances it is simply tolerating that we can continue to live together in PEACE and HARMONY!

9:05 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

I didn't say I was intolerant. I just said I didn't get it. I also don't get why people get ink on their backs. I think if you ink you should at least be reminded of it every day when you look in the mirror and watch as the colors fade over the years into something that looks like a cancerous growth. Wouldn't money being used for tattoos be better spent on buying food for the food bank? Think of how much it will cost you to have it removed when you come to your senses...

To me Camo says, "I am intolerant of progressive ideas."

Peace and Harmony? Like that has ever happened in the entire history of humans on the Earth. Like it will ever happen. Nice idea, though.

9:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Angela Fearless said...
...all of these things you describe are some form or mode of expression! and since each individual is as different as each snow flake...

This Angela couldnt possibly be more naiive.

" each individual is as different as each snow flake..."

Oh brother.

Tattoos, especially on women, are U-G-L-Y.

7:35 PM  

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