Monday, September 29, 2008

Broken Promises and Stolen Pens

I've often written about my dear friend, Barbie. I speak of her with endearing terms, but in reality she is a pretty tough cookie. Out of all the people I've ever met I would say she is in the top ten of people that I know that don't trust blindly. I've never asked what hurt her so badly that she has become this jaded. It really isn't any of my business, but I don't take it personally when she doesn't open up with me. I am simply delighted that she shares the occasional good word or a laugh with me. I am thankful that I am not on her bad side.

One thing I’ve found in becoming successful living with the humanity portion of being human is assessing situations and lending the benefit of doubt when ever possible. This sort of humanity leaves one open for all sorts of heart breaks.

I have found that everything has value and giving things of value away without strings sometimes detracts from the value. I can recall only a few times when people have taken advantage of me. Once someone was having major computer problems, so I went over and spent several hours cleaning her system up, updating some software and I recovered lost files that were necessary for her professional career. She was grateful and offered me money. I wouldn’t take money, but I knew she was an excellent baker, so I asked her instead to sometime make a batch of chocolate chip cookies for me without chocolate chips in them. Q.E.D., she promised she’d drop them off for me within the next week. I never heard from her again.

Maybe I’m just too sensitive about broken promises, but sadly that broken promise comes to mind rather often.

On the other hand there is the broken trust that hurts even more. As many of you know I enjoy being alone. I’d much prefer to travel alone than be stuck in a car and have someone travel with me and have to listen to someone blather or have uncomfortable silence over long distances. There was a woman who needed a ride to a function we were both attending recently. I always keep a pen in the consol by the shifter in my truck. Well, this woman was sitting there and she reached down and picked up the pen, but I didn’t see her use it to write anything. That was the last I saw of that pen. It was a really good pen, too and I looked under the seat and on the floor for it. It was gone; she intentionally lifted it like a magpie taking a shinny object.

I know these incidents weren’t really bad like being robbed at gun point or a physical assault, but broken promises, broken trust and broken hearts need to mend just like other physical and psychological injuries. Some times we never mend.


Blogger Auntie said...

Ahh. Crushed Guy.

5:48 AM  
Blogger weese said...

this reminds me of a story told in the movie Out of Africa, which I have always liked:

Karen Blixen(to Berkeley Coles about Denys Finch Hatton):
"He [Denys] has got lovely books."
Does he lend them?"

Berkeley: "We had a friend...

Hopworth... he'd got a book
from Denys and didn't return it.

Denys was furious.
I said to Denys,

"You wouldn't lose a friend
for the sake of a book."

He said, "No, but he has...
hasn't he?""

5:57 AM  
Blogger MissKris said...

All I can say to the comment you left on "Echo" is "Amen, brother!" I have one other blog friend whose entries sometimes flow from mine or mine from hers, both without having read the posts by the other one. This "Trust" entry so perfectly parallels as a follow-up it's like we have a writing 'psychic bond' on this one, Guy. Because of my past...I was also a victim of emotional incest with my dad most of my before-leaving-home life...I can't say that I don't trust everyone I meet but I am most definitely extremely CAREFUL about who I allow close to me. I have zillions of surface friends/acquaintances but only the smallest circle of trusted friends. I don't want to make this into another blog entry, HA! But if you'd like me to define 'emotional' incest to you, just email me and I'll explain.

8:52 AM  
Anonymous dalia said...

i don't lend books or CDs.

i also don't make promises. i'd like to think of myself as realistic rather than cynical in that regard. you can't always keep them, but i don't believe that they're meant to be broken, either. i think if you promise, you should follow through on it. the followthrough is often very difficult.

9:59 AM  
Blogger Trish said...

This post really speaks to me, and especially now that I seem to be losing touch with a dear, old, close friend of mine for some unknown reason. They won't explain and I'm and not pushing for an explanation for fear of further heartbreak. I can't force a friendship so if it has to die then I have to accept that. But yes, heartbreak over broken trusts and promises indeed.

My youngest son had a lesson in this just recently too when he cared for our neighbor's dogs with the promise of payment in a batch of fresh baked cookies the next day. He was very excited about the whole deal except that it took my neighbor 2 months to live up to her promise. It was so sad to see a child's trust neglected like that. One of those nauseating life lessons that everyone encounters at some time or other.

It is for the same reasons as you that I enjoy my solitude.

10:26 AM  
Blogger darev2005 said...

I had a stunning reply to this post last evening and was in the midst of it when a storm rolled through and the power went out. I won't promise I'll remember what I was going to say and I won't steal any more of your time.

7:10 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

I just realized I forgot to reply to your comments. Oh well, moving on to the next one.

5:28 AM  

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