Tuesday, September 30, 2008

The Ex Files

I occasionally think of my long ago ex wife or some of my ex girlfriends. Each woman added richness to my life and I learned much from each as well. Though most of the time I parted on good terms there is only a couple who are probably angry with me to this day. One because I said something about her art that she took as an insult though I meant it as a compliment and another because she was just angry with the world and everything in it. I was in her world so that put me right in the cross hairs.

When we think of ex’s we think of our ex’s or the ex’s of others. Rarely do we ever regard our selves as another persons’ ex. I have several ex’s, but rarely ever think of myself as the ex of several people. Even now as I examine the reversal of ex-ness it’s hard to get it all within one frame where the mirror constantly gets reflected back to me.

Another odd concept to grasp is when you learn that an ex has died. With any relationship one fantasizes what it would be like if the two of you became a couple, be it get married, live together over a long term. We examine what we think one another will look like as we age. How different my life would have been with each of them.

From all my ex’s I know for certain that three of them have died. Two from cancer and one took her own life. Had things gone a little differently in the past my sadness would have been much greater, though I am still saddened every day by one of them.

I really haven’t any more to say on this subject but to warn everyone that reads this that you are someone else’s ex. It’s isn’t a one sided arrangement.


Blogger MissKris said...

I was a lousy ex to one guy I dated. I look back at how I treated him towards the end before I broke off with him and realize I should've stopped his agony a lot sooner than I did. I was NOT a very nice person and whenever I think back on that particular relationship I am not very proud of myself.

4:59 AM  
Blogger Zoe said...

Life would certainly be much different had I stayed with any of my exes, I'd be straight. Or at least I would have been straight for longer before admitting to myself that I really dig chicks.

I do realze that I'm several people's ex. I'm so vein that I wonder for how many of them I'm "THE" ex.

9:29 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hmm - very true. Never thought about being someone else's ex. Puts in a whole new perspective doesn't it?

11:41 AM  
Blogger darev2005 said...

I used to hear from someone who had heard from one of my exes every now and then. About the only comment that ever came back to me was "What a dork." Ah, well. I was only a mediocre boyfriend, so I guess I'm content to be a mediocre ex.

7:08 PM  
Anonymous g said...

I have no exes. Only prior engagements during a brief moment in time. I think of none who I am bitter towards nor are bitter toward me.

7:45 PM  
Blogger loopymamain06 said...

It's interesting to know that "other" people think in these lines. one "ex" (40 years ago) still keeps in touch. Another called me when he was going through a rough patch in his life. Another who kept in touch, passed away two years ago. To still another...I am a bad person, not a thief, or worse, I just left at a "bad" time. And I often think of the young man who asked for marriage, after only two dates(wherein I ran like heck in the oppisite direction) I hope he is well.

2:49 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Isn't it funny how we sample potential mates and then settle down...well some never stop sampling. It's like going to Costco to make a lunch of food samples. But hey, I've had years of that in my past. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

5:32 AM  

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