Friday, September 18, 2009

I Know, T.M.I.

I was exchanging emails with someone this week who said in one statement that something was voyeuristic, like going through someone’s underwear drawer. This got me thinking about my underwear drawer and what an eclectic menagerie I’ve got going on there.

First, let me state that my favorite underwear is usually the newest in the rotation, but there are some in there I have no intention of ever wearing, yet there they sit in the event I don’t get to doing my laundry in a timely manner.

In case you are wondering, I like briefs. I have one pair of boxers that I purchased on a whim a few years ago thinking that I may have been missing out on unknown comfort. I didn’t miss anything. Boxers bunch up in the wrong places and what’s with the button in the front? They also require constant adjustment and if you are wearing pants that are tighter than the boxers, they tend to slide off when you change your pants. My lack of an ass facilitates that to an even greater extent. Wearing boxers makes me realize I never want to convert to Mormonism and have to suffer through wearing “The Garments.”

Once I dig deeper into the drawer I find some bikini briefs that I use to wear twenty years ago and earlier when I was seen by more people while wearing them, if you know what I mean.

There are probably three pairs that should never be worn because of holes of the lack of elasticity. I’d don’t why guys are like this, but somehow we have a hard time throwing away old underwear. We don’t want to use it as a shop rag; that would be kind of gross. Besides they take up so little room in the drawer, what’s the difference?

Finally, when you get to the last pair in the bottom-back of the drawer you will find a tie-dyed pair which I really like, but they are just too small for me. They were a gift, but even with much less behind than I used to have, they still don’t fit.

So when I look into my own underwear drawer and I see the tie-dyed pair peeking through the other disused articles I know it’s time to do the laundry or go shopping.


Blogger Beth said...

My sister and I have a pact. When we die, the other person is in charge of going through the deceased’s u/w drawer.
Thank you for sharing – delighted to hear of a man who shares certain quirks, preferences, etc., re: those garments so close to our...whatevers...

4:46 AM  
Blogger Auntie said...

what? Guy is "thong-less" ? Guess you know what you are getting for a belated Birthday present......

and, bikini underpants?
Rat-hammock for a Rat Bastard <3

5:09 AM  
Blogger darev2005 said...

After seven years in the army, I vowed that I would never again hold a job where I had to shine my boots or wear underwear. And yet here I am... Too many chances there for something to get torn and don't want to be "hanging out" so to speak. I wore briefs in the army and now I have gone to boxers. They are roomier and don't bind up if I have to move suddenly. But on my off days, none at all. How's that for a lovely mental picture?

5:58 AM  
Blogger weese said...

my induction to guys underwear came to me from my son....him being the only man in the house. of course i started buying his underwear when he was tiny. we would get spiderman, and batman - it was fun.
as he grew, as many mom's do(and wives too) i continued to supply him with the basics - underwear, white t's, dress shoes and know the boring stuff.
over the years his preferences in underwear have matured. but one of my favorite things happened with him in high school (about the time i stopped doing that sort of shopping for him) he wanted to switch from the ubiquitious boxers that guys HAD to wear - over to boxer briefs.
so i diligently bought him a package to try out ...the next morning he sauntered downstairs and said - i LOVE my underwear.
you know... its important to love your underwear.

6:03 AM  
Blogger Donna said...

Cliff wears whitie-tighties too, and his opinion of boxers is the same as yours.

He, too, keeps old worn-out underwear around far past its normal life-span.

6:57 AM  
Blogger Tango said...

My underwear drawer used to be hard to shut due to having undies in 4 different sizes. Gaining weight, losing weight, gaining weight, losing weight....I was always ready.
A couple of months ago I decided to keep the smallest size and get rid of the rest. Now, if I gain weight back, I'll just have to do without. I refuse to by larger ones.

11:16 AM  
Blogger Amy said...

how hilarious is it that last night I was laying in bed and my husband came in to grab some underwear for after he was done with his shower.....and he stopped and looked at me and said "Are you going to do laundry any time soon or will I be forced to wear these?" and he picked up some teeny 'man panties' that my mom had bought him. LOL

I'm brutal with my own underwear drawer, though. Used to be I had two drawers full. Then I got older and thought 'the hell?' so into the garbage they went.

7:22 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Beth, that means one of you doesn't get this service. And you've known about my quirks all along.

Auntie, you are too funny.

Darev, that sounds like a professional endorsement.

Weese, it's funny how that can make a big difference in one's disposition all day.

Donna, it's a guy thing and I never buy white.

Tango, so for you it's a motivational tool.

Amy, you were too busy making sugar nuts to think about the laundry. He should understand that.

I'm surprised Dalia hasn't popped in with her ideas on fashionable underwear.

6:29 AM  
Blogger Al said...

Funny, I didn't notice your lack of ass. Heh.

4:52 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Al, you were never behind me except for the photo and I was sitting for that.

5:18 PM  
Blogger dalia said...

i have tears in my eyes from this entry.

too funny...

2:20 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Dalia, I love your laugh.

5:33 AM  

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