Sunday, November 04, 2012

Anatomy of Envy

Envy often has strong overtones of malice, however when I speak of my personal situations of envy I have more of a "You Lucky Bastard" theme going on.

When we were new horse owners we would visit other friends with horses and openly admit our pasture envy.  Our horses were eating on fenced in lawn areas and others had vast expanses of real pasture.  Since then we've established five pastures on our property, so that envy is subsiding.  Now we have indoor arena envy.

I spent a lot of time with Gearhead at a conference this weekend.  Gearhead has been a dear friend for the last ten years and a major source of envy for me.  He lives on this beautiful farm, has an immaculate shop, a cool vintage trucks, motorcycles and he invents cool stuff, like his fork lift that can go 60 MPH.  He has a really cool tractor and the list goes on and on.  He rubs it in and I don't mind.  I know what hard work it took for him to get all these things and I don't begrudge him any of his success.  If I had different priorities, I could have a vintage truck and a tractor and so on.

Well Gearhead topped himself this weekend.  He introduced me to his daughter.  I never wanted children, yet oddly as I grow older and I see the now adult children of my friends I get a twinge where I wonder if it would have been worth it to have some children of my own, especially a daughter. It seems that daughters mature into better people earlier than boys.  Boys don't seem to mature into something you can be proud of until they get into their mid 40's, but it seems girls mature nicely by the time they get out of college and they just seem to understand what it takes to be mature and civil.

So thanks, Gearhead.  You've instilled me with daughter envy just when I was content without one.


Blogger darev2005 said...

Through an accident of adoption I ended up with two daughters and a son. Any of which I will be more than happy to send you for free.

Then you would be envious of the people who don't have any kids.

The grass isn't always greener. Trust me.

8:46 AM  
Blogger g said...

I have two wonderful daughters, one 7 and one 13. My 13 yr old has tried my patience for the past few years but I resolved to not give in and through that perserverence, she has tamed her trying ways. I'm sure there will be more attempts but for now all is excellent. I couldn't be prouder of her. Straight A's, sports, and overall a good human.

And my 7 yr old is just darn cute. She's my apprentice and loves to spend time with dad. Last week we spent a few hours in the pouring rain planting trees. She didn't budge. She loved it.

It's the little things that you will always remember.

I'm better off as a person for having my daughters.

9:50 AM  
Anonymous gearhead said...

Sorry about that, Guy!
Jaguar and I had a very good time at the shindig and enjoyed our time spent with you.
But before you go rethinking your entire life; remember that I had two other children that don't run as smoothly as Jag.
Remember Sparkplug? He started mis-firing badly a couple of years back, crashed and burned and will be stamping licence plates for the next 20 years.
Then there is my oldest daughter, Rambler. Another honor roll student.
Unfortunatly, she developed steering problems right after graduation. No matter which way the steering wheel turned she just kept going farther and farther to the left. I really don't even know her anymore.
People's problems are a lot like machine's problems. It is falure in the control systems 99% of the time.
If I could go back and write down all of the zillions of industrial machines that I have repaired, you would notice that the problems were rarely the motor, gearbox, frame, etc... It is almost always control failure.
With people we call that personal responsibility, attitude, vision, and drive. Toss in a portion of social accomodation.
Anyway, just wanted to add that life is not always a bowl of cherries in parentland.

9:02 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Darev, it's a crap shoot, and sometimes you beat the house and sometimes I guess it's snake eyes.

g, your interesting times are yet to come.

Gearhead, Jaguar is a good name for her. She is a delight. As for Rambler, going left isn't a problem just because she doesn't support Romney. Sume of us go left and like it. As for Sparkplug, I'm sure your heart is broken, it is sad, but I hope Jaguar makes up for what you've lost.

10:22 AM  
Anonymous PaPa said...

See we are all envy of something. Just like I am envy of you.I think it would be cool to have a blog.
From behind the counter I would call it I meet a lot of intreasting beings everyday it is amazing that the human race has advanced as much as it has.I am also envy that you can push the right button and get me to respond to your blog. Sunny and 70 degrees from the high desert. PaPa

12:51 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

PaPa, I'm delighted to see you are still out there. Blogs are free and all you need to do is put your ideas into words. On the other hand you don't need a blog because you do so much for others and it touched me deeply to see how much time and effort you gave to the community when you were here. I was especially touched when you gave a family pass to one of my readers who couldn't afford to take her kids on her own. I will always remember your generosity and hope there will one day be a pay-back for all you've done here. I hope the community in Bend knows what an true giver you are.

2:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My 19 year old son is one of the most mature people I have ever known, including my parents. This does not surprise me too much for when my son was 13 his father passed away and he naturally felt pressure, regardless of my insistence that he be allowed to still be a kid, to be the "man of the house". He is kind to women and children, actually everyone. He is gifted with patience toward impatient people. What immaturity he has is only from lack of experience.

He has developing his own life but is still in mine and I am immensely proud of him and grateful for him. I realize I might sound like a clinging control-freak mother, but with my son I really just let him be himself.

Besides, being a control freak is a side effect of motherhood.

10:11 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Anon, some people do win the lottery, but most don't. Count yourself as one of the fortunate ones.

This isn't just our generation that shares the burden of kids that won't grow up. It goes back thousands of years. The joke is the reason they determined that Jesus was Irish was he was 33 years old, he lived with his mother, he didn't have a job and he thought he was God... Sounds like the kids of today, doesn't it?

2:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Since I lost the love of my life, best friend, and father of my children I haven't counted myself fortunate or unfortunate. Life happens to us all. I just do the best I can with what I've got. Sometimes my best is terrible and sometimes its pretty terrific. Mostly my best is ordinary. Isn't that what everyone does?

To me, the kids of today sound a lot like the old folks of today, they just use different words. Everyone, young or old, has their own point of view. I guess mine is I don't care to degrade any group, whether by age, sex, religion, as a whole.

I have enjoyed your blog, its one of three that I've returned to read again. I hadn't realized you were so against young males, as that is how you seem to me in this article. I'm sorry if I've wrongly perceived that. Maybe its only that I love children and you put my dander up.

3:53 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Anon, Let's just say that I've had many more disappointments from male children in my life and the lives of other people I know with male children. I know several who are in their mid 30's and living like they are still 14 with no responsiblities and no eye toward their future. Sure there are acceptions, but generally I find that young women are much more self reliant and responsible.

6:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This Anonymous' son.
I have talked to and gotten to know people from many walks of life. And I've come to decide that there's not really any way to categorize anyone in this day and age.
I see where you're coming from on how "most" young women are more self-reliant than "most" young men.
However, someone said; “Youth ends when egotism does; maturity begins when one lives for others.” Perhaps the "young men" have yet to have someone to live for?

8:03 PM  

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