Monday, May 29, 2006

Polyagmy is Right

Please allow me to preamble before I get into the topic listed above:

As soon as I see those hands go up in the air, twisting back and forth, I get a chill up and down my spine. Those bastards are praying to elect Bush again or doing a circle prayer to they can send more missionaries out all over the world to further fuck up more cultures.

Yes, I am an atheist, but I was brought up Catholic, which is basically a Christian group that doesn’t know anything about religion and never reads the bible. I’m OK with Catholics for the most part now they no longer have the clout to recreate an inquisition. They are a non-entity, however those twisting back and forth, arm raising Christians are just one arm away from the Nazi salute.

Mormons are crazy, too. They are right up there in the whacky cult business along with Scientologists and Christian Scientists. But the founders of Mormonism did get one thing right; Polygamy, and all other Christians should work this into their religions because it is the correct thing to do in alignment with their beliefs.

How could this be? OK, in all Christian types of faiths, you are promised that you will be reunited with those you love in heaven when you die. Now let’s say John and Jane got married and were so in love that they couldn’t imagine being apart. Their love was sustained with the knowledge that they will be bound through eternity, in heaven. One day Jane gets hit by a bus and dies. John mourns for years while Jane is in Heaven waiting for John to die. The problem is that John, in his late 20’s, will not be giving up the ghost for another 60 years. He gets lonely and falls in love with Sally, a woman at church, and they eventually get married. John loves Sally as much as he loved Jane. Jane loved John and Sally loves John. So when Sally and John eventually die, who gets John? It was Sally’s dream to spend eternity in Heaven with John and it was Jane’s dream as well. So who gets him? If only one woman get him, the other woman’s dreams are dashed for eternity. How can that possibly be fair?

That’s why if you believe in the Christian view of heaven, polygamy should be the accepted practice in your every-day life.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Ever notice how much they look alike?

Friday, May 19, 2006

Crape Diem

Carpe Diem = seize the day

Crape diem = eat right and be regular

Blogs I Hate

I often hit the button in the upper right corner that goes to the next blog. Yes, I guess I have a blog voyeristic thing going on, but hey, people write so someone will read it. One thing I have noticed is that there are entirely too many dog and baby photos out there in the blogasphere. Please, if you have a blog, knock it off.
Also, too many photos of women's shoes and food. Knock that off as well! Damn it!

Monday, May 15, 2006

Maybe we can order one for the LNG plant

Astoria Sunday Market

The Astoria Sunday Market opened this weekend. It is an exciting weekly event and one that I participate in as often as I can. The day was warm and sunny, and business seemed brisk. I parted with at least $50 of my filthy lucre at several booths.

Sunday Market is a joyfull event, but one thing that does cast a pall on the event are all the people who insist on bringing their dogs to such a crowded event.. Come on people, your dogs are not your children. They are livestock. Would you want someone to bring a goat to the market?

People will say that their dogs are part of their family and they need to be social, too. I say the place is too crowded with too much going on to have to be aware of things below our line of vision. So far in the several years of attending the market I have seen dogs trip people, I've seen several dog fights that resulted in dog injuries. I've seen dogs get stepped on and injured.

If you want your dog to be social, take them to a park, take them for a walk on the river walk. Don't bring them to Sunday Market.

I know someone out there will say, "But there are dog attractions at the Sunday Market!" There is a booth that makes dog tags, another that makes dog biscuits, and another one that does pet massage. Pet Massage? Give me a freakin break! Give your stinking dog a bath, rub in the shampoo, that's all the massage they need. If you think they need a massage every day, give them a bath every day.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Looking good?

Being a visual person there are things that really bug my eye. Hear is a list:

Leather pants...There is no one on this planet, man or woman,who looks good in leather pants. That's right, even Jim Morrison, Joan Jett and Mick Jaeger look silly in leather pants.

Only .001% of women who wear(horse) riding pants look good in them.

Next, all those ugly F***ing leg and ankle tattoos are ugly. No matter how cute the art is, when I see them I want to tell those with them that they have a smudge on their leg, but then I realize it's an ugly F***ing leg tattoo, and then I realize that they intentionally mutilated themselves. Oh the colors may be pretty now, but give it 25 years and it will look like a cancerous skin condition. I used to go to this bar where all the WW II vets hung out. They came back from the war with their brands, and after 25 years the words were unreadable, their skin was no longer as firm and it really looked bad; like a cancerous blotch. What the hell are you people thinking.

I also hate seeing people get in their cars and drive off dialing their phones. Are automobiles the new phone booths? Why can't you make your calls while you are parked. HANG UP AND DRIVE! Idiots!

I can't stand seeing political signs on people's lawns. Have you ever been inspired to vote for someone because you saw a lawn sign? The only reason for lawn signs is so you can drive through a neighborhood and feel superior to the chumps who are promoting the candidates you can't stand.

Finally, for now, Jeffers Gardens and Miles Crossing are probably the only reason for hoping for a tsunami.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Just Joshing?

Will someone please tell Josh Marquis to shut the F... up, please! He is a total embarassment to this county. Not only does he constantly spout off on the death penelty, but he is a media whore who often spends time on the Lars Larsen radio show.

For those of you who don't know of the ULTRA-Conservative Lars, he is probably single handidly the most harmful agent against education in Oregon. He is a bully who will not air anyone who doesn't goose step in time with him.

Anyway, Josh is constantly on this guys radio show, as a friend, and probably not realizing that he is adding fuel to the Larsen flame of fame. Josh, please put your ego away and put your cause out of the hands of Lars and his ilk. Save it for the jury.

It's Writing Time Again

Yes, it's easy to be negative, but I will promise that with every negative article I create I will create a positive one. That is a promise I've made and broken in the past, but I'm really going to try hard this time. Really hard!

So on a "positive" note, here are the things I like about Astoria and the surrounding area:
KMUN, The River Theater, The Bridge, The River, T-Pauls Urban Cafe, The Lewis and Clark Area, Hip-Fish, The Sunday Market, The River Walk.

There, now that the positive article is out of the way I can focus on something else.