Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Ph.D


You know, while I’m talking Ph.D here, I have to ask why they give out this degree to English and Writing majors. What the hell is so difficult about the English language and writing in this language that justifies a doctoral degree? One of the requirements of a Ph.D is to advance the field. Is that possible in this field of study?

Next, how is it possible to get this same degree in Physical Education? Imagine getting a Ph.D in playing games and lifting weights? Has academia lost its fucking mind? Woody Allen said that those who don’t know teach, and those who really don’t know teach Phys Ed.

Next, same thing goes for Art. I can understand a Ph.D in Art History or Art Restoration, but the other art disciplines…no… no way.

I can understand advanced degrees in just about every other subject, but not in English, Phys Ed and Art. I am sure the requirements are stringent, but they are tits on a bull…totally unnecessary.

This said, if you plan to pursue a Ph.D in one of these subjects, please do us and yourself a favor. Save your time and money. Volunteer your time doing something good and useful for humanity. Set up an exercise program for seniors, teach kids how to draw, teach people how to read and write. You don’t need the letters Ph.D after your name; trust me. You will get more respect and admiration if you just use your knowledge well and do good things for others. Really, it’s time to stop all this Ph.D nonsense.

Oh, and if you are wondering how the above photo relates...that's my Ph.D, Posthole Digger.

15 Comments:

Blogger Beth said...

I may be wrong (although I did some checking on the Internet) but I believe a Ph.d is required (or is given preference) for those candidates seeking tenure as professors at universities (English Departments included).
But then, tenure itself is yet another controversial issue.

6:30 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

You are correct, it is required, unjustly. They still do not overcome the ability to say, "Would you like fries with your order?"

6:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My ex has a PhD in Food Science...how's that for ridiculous? In the college town I grew up in they used to say PhD stood for "pile it higher and deeper," and they didn't mean food!

J from down the hall

8:31 AM  
Anonymous gearhead said...

Nice Picture!
How many Ph.d folks do you suppose could figure out how to operate your digger?

8:52 AM  
Blogger Lee said...

your Ph.D seems much more useful and a much wiser investment than some of the others you mentioned...congrats on advancing the field of holes

8:56 AM  
Anonymous Moosehead said...

You know, I had a guy that was applying for a job opening in my company and he told me that he was qualified for the job because he had a BSc, and was working on his PhD. I told him that if I ended up giving him the summer job, he would learn the rest of the alphabet...

9:08 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

J, Nutrition yes, food science no.

Gearhead, maybe some OSU Agriculture PhDs could, depending where they grew up. I bet Mike, your chemical engineer friend knows his way around a phd, but the other PhD Mike we know would be able to get someone to dig the hole and not pay them for doing it.

Lee, There is a lot to be said for holes. I've even been called a hole on occasion, and I thinl I'm pretty special.

Moose, make sure they learn the French alphabet as well, and teach them the electric fence trick. That'll learn em?

That is such an inside joke, but I have to share. Moosehead is in an agricultural field of business, and to break in new employees, he'll back up his truck so his bumper touches an electric fence, then he asks his employee to get out of the truck for one reason or another. You can guess what happens next when the employee hand is still on the truck when their foot hits the ground...

10:36 AM  
Anonymous Moosehead said...

Yeah but, all in good fun you know. The reaction to the shock is priceless to watch and in all fairness, the employee has license to return the favor. But being the smartass that I am, I do like to win and have not even come close to losing the practical joke contests. Now everybody knows my trick and I will have to find different ones to keep me entertained.
Another hint for the curious? I have thousands of employees but yet, pay no benefits...and my first name is not Sam nor does my last name rhyme with shopping cart. And in another inside joke, as hinted by Guy in earlier posts, I am bilingual which makes my upper half English and my lower half French...which has always served me well with the ladies. And a penny for you, and another one for you and one more...

12:14 PM  
Blogger Jaggy said...

My aunt is getting a Ph.D. in Communication. Is she learning how to talk louder? faster? with bigger words?

12:52 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Jaggy, in her case her degree will stand for Piled High and Deep.

Moosehead, I think you went to the same school as Norm.

3:38 PM  
Anonymous Moosehead said...

I'm tellin'.

6:43 PM  
Blogger Trop said...

You're just jealous. [smirk]

3:16 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Dr. Trop, don't tell me it was English for you? I had you pegged for Statistics, Business Administration. Not English! NOOOOO! I bet you are going to be extra hard on my grammar now, aren't you?

4:15 PM  
Blogger Trop said...

Almost as bad, Guy: Sociology.

7:41 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Phew... No Trop, that didn't even make my top 10 of useless degrees, so you're good. I'm even considering going for a PhD in my field which is Revisionist History.

9:47 PM  

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