Yogi-isms

I recently quoted Yogi Berra in an article about the Sunday Market. Yogi is a master of turning our language into what could best be described as a puzzle. I copied all these quotes from the web for your entertainment.

• "This is like deja vu all over again."
• "You can observe a lot just by watching."
• "He must have made that before he died." -- Referring to a Steve McQueen movie.
• "I want to thank you for making this day necessary." -- On Yogi Berra Appreciation Day in St. Louis in 1947.
• "I'd find the fellow who lost it, and, if he was poor, I'd return it." -- When asked what he would do if he found a million dollars.
• "Think! How the hell are you gonna think and hit at the same time?"
• "You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there."
• "I knew I was going to take the wrong train, so I left early."
• "If you don't know where you are going, you will wind up somewhere else."
• "If you can't imitate him, don't copy him."
• "You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six."
• "Baseball is 90% mental -- the other half is physical."
• "It was impossible to get a conversation going; everybody was talking too much."
• "Slump? I ain't in no slump. I just ain't hitting."
• "A nickel isn't worth a dime today."
• "Nobody goes there anymore; it's too crowded."
• "It gets late early out there." -- Referring to the bad sun conditions in left field at the stadium.
• "Glen Cove." -- Referring to Glenn Close on a movie review television show.
• Once, Yogi's wife Carmen asked, "Yogi, you are from St. Louis, we live in New Jersey, and you played ball in New York. If you go before I do, where would you like me to have you buried?" Yogi replied, "Surprise me."
• "Do you mean now?" -- When asked for the time.
• "I take a two hour nap, from one o'clock to four."
• "If you come to a fork in the road, take it."
• "You give 100 percent in the first half of the game, and if that isn't enough in the second half you give what's left."
• "90% of the putts that are short don't go in."
• "I made a wrong mistake."
• "Texas has a lot of electrical votes." -- During an election campaign, after George Bush stated that Texas was important to the election.
• "Thanks, you don't look so hot yourself." -- After being told he looked cool.
• "I always thought that record would stand until it was broken."
• "Yeah, but we're making great time!" -- In reply to "Hey Yogi, I think we're lost."
• "If the fans don't come out to the ball park, you can't stop them."
• "Why buy good luggage? You only use it when you travel."
• "It's never happened in the World Series competition, and it still hasn't."
• "How long have you known me, Jack? And you still don't know how to spell my name." -- Upon receiving a check from Jack Buck made out to "bearer."
• "I'd say he's done more than that." -- When asked if first baseman Don Mattingly had exceeded expectations for the current season.
• "The other teams could make trouble for us if they win."
• "He can run anytime he wants. I'm giving him the red light." -- On the acquisition of fleet Ricky Henderson.
• "I never blame myself when I'm not hitting. I just blame the bat, and if it keeps up, I change bats. After all, if I know it isn't my fault that I'm not hitting, how can I get mad at myself?"
• "It ain't the heat; it's the humility."
• "The towels were so thick there I could hardly close my suitcase."
• "You should always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours."
• "I didn't really say everything I said."