OK, so Auntie is a bit of a bitch. She calls me up and starts insulting me for still having dial-up Internet service.
"Does your bill arrive on a stone tablet?"
"Does your provider have Pterodactyls on their stationary?"
"Is the clock on your desktop a sun dial?"
"Do you have DOS macro log-ins?"
"What's your IP the number 1?"
"Your IP shows up as a Roman Numeral."
"Haa, Haa, you can't even download porno!"