Saturday, December 20, 2008

CC Santa Revisited

I recently visited an article I wrote here a few years ago that was in the spirit of the season. I like this story and I'll repost it for those of you that have not poured through the archives. And even if you've read it before, it's bee long enough that I'm sure you've forgotten it. Enjoy:

Not being a person instilled with vast amounts of glee, I avoid any holiday parties I am invited to. This wasn’t always the case. I was once young and full of optimism.

I remember a time when I was 18 years old. I was working at a Catholic Seminary, which had amazingly ornate Christmas parties. One of my co-workers was a really hot 30 year old woman named Judy. She and I really hit it off, being we were two fish who really had no business being in that pond.

We were at this party together, which got over early so the older workers could get home to bed before 8pm. Judy said to me that it was too early to call it a night so we should go to her husband’s club for their Christmas party. I was up for it, so we got into my car and she told me to head towards Hackensack. We drove down a foggy Rt. 17 to Rt. 4, and once we got to Hackensack she guided me down roads I had never been on before. We finally ended up on this dark, pot hole filled road with overgrown weeds and trash on the side. We pull up to what looks like an abandoned bowling ally with hundreds of motorcycles parked out side. I’m now nervous…

We walk in the door and are confronted by the loud noise of music, drunken bikers shouting and drinking and bowling. There was a large banner that said C.C. Riders, North Jersey. Holy shit! I had just recently finished reading Hunter Thompson’s book Hells Angles. I walked on egg shells in fear of getting stomped. I stuck close by Judy and Pete. There was no way in hell that I looked at all like I belonged there with my soft 18 year old, peach fuzz, boy face.

After an hour or so I started to relax. All attention was drawn to the biker Santa that came thundering in on a Harley. He got off the bike and sat on a chair by the bar. He shared a few Ho Ho’s and commanded all the ladies to get in line. “OK ladies!” He started, “Come here and sit on Santa's face and I’ll guess your weight!” Oh man, I thought, what the hell am I seeing here? It all turned out pretty harmless. Anyone who sat on Santa’s lap came away with a present of either a dildo or a bottle of beer.

I stayed a little longer, but after two fights broke out I figured it was time to take my 18 year old boy self with the peach fuzz face safely back to safety suburbia where there were nice houses and nice lawns and where anyone with a motorcycle had them cleanly tucked away in their garages with blankets on them waiting for the warm days of spring.

The attendees of the party were used to these sorts of get-togethers where I was not. There is a certain euphoria one feels when they escapes a potentially dangerous situation unscathed. This euphoria stayed with me for days after that party. To this day, when I pass a biker club on the highway and hear their thundering engines bark like lions as they pass, I think back to that night in Hackensack, New Jersey and get a feeling of euphoria again.


Blogger Donna said...

Wow, you WERE living dangerously! Actually, during the first part of this, I thought that woman was taking you down the primrose path.

4:16 AM  
Blogger Beth said...

Quite the memorable Christmas party - and one that keeps on giving!

5:59 AM  
Blogger Auntie said...

Ah, youth and the things you look back on and wonder in amazement that we (all) didn't get ourselves killed doing stuff like this.

Gotta love those "Hell's Angles" though. ;)

6:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...'re right Auntie. We should hook up. I quit correcting Guy's spelling mistakes after he pleaded macular degeneration...or was it immaculate misconception he pleaded. Anyway either way, he caught my interest with the story about his initiation with the older French lady and has had it ever since. Now there's a story that will stand the test of time!!!


9:09 AM  
Blogger Auntie said...


How could I forget the story about Guy-smiley and his "Pennies" in, "give my your pennies..."

For those of you who haven't read it, PLEASE repost it, Guy. C'mon, it will get you another day off from writing and we won't mind, honest.

10:18 AM  
Blogger darev2005 said...

Working in a seminary. Wow. You never cease to amaze me. I should have detected that level of education. I just thought you were remarkable well spoken. That's one thing I will give the catholics, they have some good schools and if you graduate, you have earned it. In my youth I wandered wide-eyed into a few situations that I was amazed I emerged from unscathed afterwards. In retrospect, it's amazing we're still here, isn't it?

2:13 PM  
Blogger loopymamain06 said...

This post reminded me of several things in my youth, then the comments reminded me of more, and the people I've seen and known, alas to numurous to mention here.
but thanks every one
da loop knowing her prose couls never match Guy's

3:17 PM  
Blogger loopymamain06 said...

P.S......donna's "primrose Path" heck I hadn't heard that one in a while!

3:18 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Donna, I'm glad I did it while I was young and stupid, though I'm now past the age where someone would want to pick a fight with me.

Beth, it's been 35 years now and I still think of it.

Moose and Auntie, I re-ran the post for you today.

Darev, it was just a job that I had while in high school and college. I wasn't a student there. I did have a lot of time to read there.

Loopy, Thanks, but really there is nothing wrong with your prose. We all have stories and we tell them.

6:24 AM  

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