Sunday, June 07, 2009


Just the tip of the iceberg of things that annoy me:

1. The new neighbor kids that I call, “Screaming Girl and Shouting Boy” and I should mention their father, ”I don’t need no stinkin muffler.”
2. Neil Young harmonizing with himself.
3. Anyone that says, “I’d now like to read a poem that I wrote.”
4. Face Book quizzes and “Become a fan of…”
5. Instant messages. That’s right folks, I will forever remain invisible on gmail and face book.
6. Twitter, it’s for people too lazy to blog.
7. Dogs.
8. Speeding donor cycles.
9. Anyone that want to tell me the long details of a dream they had.
10. The little bubbles of asphalt that pop as you drive over them on a hot day.


Blogger Tango said...

What's a Speeding donor cycle?
Screaming kids annoy me the most. I work at a dealership at night. Couples bring all their kids with them thinking there is some magical babysitter on duty. All night long there are kids running, screaming, getting in an out of the showroom cars and slamming the doors, honking the horns. I don't understand why it is so hard for parents to control their children these days. By the time 9 o'clock rolls around I'm ready to bolt out of there. Okay...end of rant. :) I feel better now!

4:48 AM  
Blogger Donna said...

I'll take those neighbors, and trade you mine: She's supposed to be in court-ordered rehab (but isn't); they've never finished the house they started three years ago; rather than plant grass in their back yard, he bulldozes it when the weeds get too high.

Oh, but their kids are quiet. It's the mom cussing the kids that makes the noise. That, and no mufflers on their beat-up truck.

5:50 AM  
Blogger Donna said...

And by the way, I have a whole BOOK of poems I wrote. Where does THAT send your annoyance meter?

5:51 AM  
Blogger Beth said...

I had the craziest dream last night...wanna hear all about it?

If these things are just the tip of the iceberg, I’m wondering what lies beneath. Lots and lots of blog fodder, for sure...

6:10 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Tango, A speeding donor cycle is those little Ninja Motorcycles that speed by here. Sooner or later the riders become organ donors.

Donna, bummer on the neighbors, but you have to admit that dozing the weeds is pretty funny. And for the book of poems... As long as I'm not a captive audience I have no problem. It's just when someone insists on sharing them is to me like someone asking me to hold their baby or their dog. Eeewww!

6:15 AM  
Blogger Tango said...

Ahhh....Pocket Rockets :)

6:26 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Beth, I've been singing that song for three years now and we are still at the tip of the ice berg. Though I am to polite to go deeper than the tip.

Tango, I thought a pocket rocket was...well never mind.

6:36 AM  
Anonymous Auntie said...

Guy......I think you are coming back!!!! This very closely resembles an off-schedule Sick Day post.

6:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yah, our screaming neighbor kids had to move to another state!!! They were attempting to home school and failing every required test, so that set the school district on their ass. Then CFS got involved after the third time people called the cops about the kids, 6, 8, 9 and 11 running loose in the middle of the night. The parents didn't believe in forcing unreasonable sociatal norms on their kids, like bedtimes and no trespassing laws.

The kids had to go to school which meant going to bed at a decent hour, getting up in the morning and obeying teachers. It was funny listening to the mother screaming at them in the evenings trying to get them to come in. Last I heard they wee one more ding away from losing the kids to state custody, then they just moved out one weekend.


7:01 AM  
Blogger darev2005 said...

Speeding donor cycles. I'm glad you explained that. My mind was going in a completely different direction. Sounded like some sort of over sugary breakfast cereal. One of our foster kids was a screamer. A marathon screamer. We would tire of him quickly and make him scream out on the back porch. Someone called the cops once (that we know of) and the officer came in and looked out the back door at him screaming, said "Okay, thanks" and left again. We were kind of happy when they moved him somewhere else.

But I do like dogs.

7:21 AM  
Blogger darev2005 said...

And I don't IM or chat anymore. I refuse.

7:22 AM  
Blogger Amy said...

My IMs are forever blocked, too. At least with email, you can get up and do whatever and then go back to the response - unlike IMs "Are you there? Hello?" AURGH...

I live behind an elementary school. 6 AM sucks moldy donkey huevos. I often have thoughts about buying a BB gun and shooting that deputy dog in the hindquarters. "That's right, kiddies, I shot duputy dog. Who else wants to blow that whistle?!" (Haha....anger management issues? What?)

10:24 AM  
Blogger Guy said...

Auntie, do you really want the old pissed off guy back? I don't.

CC,I'm starting to think that everyone has at least one jerk for a neighbor. I'm sure when that one moved they were replaced by another. I have great neighbors except for screaming girl and shouting boy.

Darev, did Auntie wear you down, too?

Amy, my sympathies. At least summer is coming. Most people look forward to school starting in the fall, but not you. Bummer. Funny though.

5:11 AM  
Blogger darev2005 said...

Guy, I got burned out on chat and IM many years before I met Auntie. It's an all consuming addiction that's hard to kick.

6:26 AM  
Blogger a mouthy irish woman? ridiculous! said...

dogs? really?

like all dogs? or specific barking, licking, snorting breeds? because as a general rule...i do like dogs except for the aforementioned noisy, nasty tongued, snot blowing variety.

that basically leaves the stuffed variety. :)

5:56 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Mouthy, you left out begging, plate licking, chicken killing, yard shitting, pet me, pet me, butt sniffing, grass eating and puking...

6:40 AM  
Blogger a mouthy irish woman? ridiculous! said...

dammit. i did leave that stuff out.

so yeah, basically the stuffed variety is all that remains.

i can see i'm going to have stay on my toes here. its a good thing sarcasm, douchey behavior and foul language are a steady part of my diet. that and hot dogs.

7:38 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Yep stay on your toes because if I don't catch errors, my rat bastard readers will. Not only are we sarcastic, but we are sardonic as well.

8:48 AM  
Blogger a mouthy irish woman? ridiculous! said...

s & s. i can dig it.

i saw a t-shirt once that said "national sarcasm we need your support."

spot. on.

7:11 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Thanks, hon.

7:52 AM  
Blogger dalia said...

i would now like to read a poem about the dream i had about my dog, composed while i was listening to the oddly nasal harmonies of neil young, and instant messaging with my friend about how completely useless that twitter thing is.

10:49 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Dalia, I rarely ever say this to any of my readers, but "I Love You."

11:10 AM  

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