Monday, June 01, 2009

Sick Day XXVII


This month I am sick of extremely hyphenated names. Two last names should be the limit. OK, most women that change their names when they get married but don’t want to totally lose their previous identity may and should hyphenate their last names, but when you start holding onto the last names that you had with your previous two husbands you are taking things too far.

I saw the name of an eight-year old the other day and this kid already had three hyphens in her name. Every time her mom got married the kid took on the name as well. What happens when she goes through her own series of husbands; her name will look like a small town phone book or like a big law firm.

New rule, you only get one hyphen and if you really want another, the condition will be that the name Asshole be placed in there somewhere.

12 Comments:

Blogger Tango said...

lol...the "new rule" is becoming law in Germany.
When I got married I tried to take just one of my husbands last names, the last one. I was told at the Social Security office that either I could take his whole name or none at all. I had my driver license changed twice in one day. On top of that, my middle name is Kathe (the "a" is an "Umlaut". In American that would be "ae", but they wouldn't go for it, so now my middle name is misspelled.

4:57 AM  
Blogger Beth said...

Discussions around here as to this issue. Girlfriend wants both she and my son to use hyphenated names when married. My son refuses and is wholeheartedly backed by his brothers – “Don’t be whipped, buddy…”

6:52 AM  
Anonymous Auntie (insert new last name soon) said...

wow, thanks for the idea. Maybe I will hyphenate after I get married after all!

6:54 AM  
Blogger darev2005 said...

Ok, I could really really really have done without that picture. Kryptonite.... ack.
That said, I consider multi-hyphenation to be a good thing. It's another warning sign that is easy to spot. It says "I'm a pompous twit." With that name pointing out in front of them like an ersatz verbal penis you can easily sidestep and dismiss them as someone not worth bothering with. Use it as a tool. It's easier than searching their wallets to see if they are card carrying idiots.

7:31 AM  
Blogger richpix said...

I say screw all name changes. Do it as the Icelanders do--your name stays the same when you get married. Don't we have enough bloody complications in life?

3:04 PM  
Blogger g said...

where do i sign up for "Asshole"? I could use a hyphen or two.

6:50 PM  
Anonymous auntie said...

G can be "Asshole-Dork-Wad"

8:00 PM  
Blogger dalia said...

i'll never hyphenate. my last name is already 10 letters long. if his last name sounds better or is shorter, i'm changing it.

9:56 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Tango, If you went through Ellis Island you would have been assigned a name.

Beth, that girlfriend sounds like a controlling ball buster. Tell your son to run for his life.

Darev, you've been coming here long enough to know that the first Monday of the month is a sick day and there is always a photo with some sort of vomit in it.

Rich, it is a better idea, for better or worse, I just feel sorry for all the people that had parents that gave them silly names.

g, that is inferred with your political affiliation.

Auntie, be nice.

Dalia, I think you should just go by Dalia. You don't need a last name with a great first name like that.

5:25 AM  
Anonymous Aunteeee said...

Guy - g started it in another location last night.

5:41 AM  
Blogger g said...

did not

6:44 PM  
Anonymous auntie said...

your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberry

7:53 PM  

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