Saturday, October 17, 2009

A Vulgar Art

I’ve altered many of the words and phrases in this post because I don’t want to attract people that are searching for those words and phrases for purposes of gratification.

I find it interesting how creative English speakers are about coming up with vulgar statements and phrases. Many have been around forever and I can imagine that when a new one comes out the first person to utter the word combination just knows they’ve struck lexiconic gold.

Tango and I were recently discussing douche bags (hot water bottles). Douche bag sounds so insulting, but what could be more soothing than a bottle filled with hot water.

Heather loves the phrase F**K Face I asked her if in her mind does the term mean someone that has a face that looks like genitalia, or a face that has too much sexual remnants or someone that is sporting an orgasmic look; the O Face. She defined it as someone beyond being a dumb ass.

Dumb ass it a term all on its own with many meanings. It literally means a mule or donkey that cannot speak. Having known mule owners, silent mules would make one part of life much nicer.

A** Hole is more degrading to the anus than to a person being called such. You can pierce a cheek and then you have a hole in your ass, but an anus is a complex thing that probably has saved each one us from embarrassment on a daily basis. A little respect for anatomy please.

C**K sucker is a term that is homophobia at its worst.

D**K head is something you just have to visualize and shake you head at

As you all know Rat Bastard is my favorite term. I know it is pale in comparison to what you folks like to say, but to me I think Rat Bastard is just Swell.


Blogger Tango said...

lol...thanks for reminding me. I have to buy a new douche bag since my pus*y bit a hole in it while trying to move it from the living room to the bedroom. Rat Bastard. That's just swell! :(

4:54 AM  
Blogger Donna said...

I believe you're still going to get some weird google searches ending up at this entry. My daughter once had a boy friend Cliff and I called "numb-nuts". My grandson, about four at the time, heard us say that so much that he once answered our phone and, in calling Cliff to the phone, said "It's Numb-nuts, he wants to talk to Grandpa."
When that particular guy came over with his best friend, we called them "Dumb and dumber". Thank goodness my daughter didn't get pregnant by him!

4:59 AM  
Blogger darev2005 said...

Hee hee hee hee heee! You guys almost made me spit coffee all over my monitor three times!

5:34 AM  
Blogger a mouthy irish woman? ridiculous! said...

can someone pass the toast please? this is the best breakfast conversation i have had in YEARS!

please proceed. :)

6:14 AM  
Blogger Beth said...

There are some who think cursing is a sign of immature language skills. I am not one of those people!

8:00 AM  
Blogger Amy said...

The new one - asshat. sure it sounds funny, but really? A hat for your ass? Does it have holes cut out for the ears? *smirk*

8:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Fluff monkey" and "poodle puffer" seem to creep into my lexicon frequently-so does "pole smoking f..ktard"..I dunno, sometimes when words are combined, that don't have a relationship to each other, it begs the mind to create a new definition and visual image.

9:01 AM  
Blogger Tango said...

Can I please have the definitions of fluff monkey and poodle puffer.
We're really slow to day...can you tell?

9:12 AM  
Blogger Donna said...

Tango, those are new to me too. Of course, I don't get out much.

10:11 AM  
Blogger Tango said...

I guess I don't get out much either, Donna. LOL, I'd really like to know before I call someone a bald mouth poodle puffing fluff monkey.

10:40 AM  
Blogger dalia said...

my ex boyfriend's father used to call the boys numbnuts when they were young.

my friend roz used to use asshat.

west indians are creative cussers. "muddascunt" is a trinidadian cussword that is both cringe-worthy and comical, depending on context.

i also like bollywood for their take on cussing. "mother/sister/father chodh" which means, essentially, m*therf*cker, but it sounds better, bollywood style.

i cuss in certain circles, around certain friends. occasionally i let an f-bomb slip around my mother, which is hilarious, because she refuses to say the word... she won't even mouth it.

1:10 PM  
Blogger Auntie said...



one of my dad's favourites

all commonly used (or maybe not commonly) for stupid people or people that have done something silly.

1:26 PM  
Anonymous J said...

OMG I'm ROTFLMAO at this entire post and comments.

I have encountered all of the above, numerous times over the last 3 years IN PARTICULAR!

3:22 PM  
Blogger Auntie said...

Whiney-ass-pee-pants is my lastest favorite

3:33 PM  
Blogger g said...

Tool and Gomer.

I've tried to refrain from using real cuss words. Drive in the fast lane slow, you are either a tool or gomer.

7:14 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Ohh Ohh, you foul mouthed rat bastards! Good work *wink*

7:05 AM  
Blogger weese said...

do you think its odd this post generated so many comments :)
I am pretty sure I heard the word 'dick' used on a prime time tv show last week. Is that possible? Can they say that on network television? Where are those censor people?

5:33 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Weese, where they talking about Nixon or a private investigator?

5:48 AM  
Blogger Meadowlark said...

Can't believe I missed this one!

F*ck-nuts is my recent favorite.

And I don't consider c*#ksucker an insult, 'course, I'm a girl. :)

9:04 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Meadowlark, I think you were away when I posted it. The way the statement is made and accepted are often two different things. Back in the 60's it seems to me that it was something that was used towards men in the voice of domination. Funny how word meanings change over the years. You know "Bad" was the new "Good" for a while. Go figure...

9:16 AM  

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