Sunday, November 14, 2010

The Sag


Yeah, seeing this drives me crazy, too. That's why I went out a few years ago and got some suspenders. I got tired of yanking up on my belt loops every couple of steps especially while I was building something or hauling a chain saw through the woods.

As I've written before on m any occasions, my problem is that I have no ass. I'm an aging white guy with declining testosterone and as you know that sucks ass, literally.

When I posted the article about buying a belt yesterday, my wife who is away right now emailed me to ask if I bought a belt for my underwear as well. I know this may be TMI for y'all, but having suspenders and/or a belt is mandatory for guys with out an ass, but there is a whole other range of problems you don't see when it comes to underwear. There are certain brands that can stay in place, but there are brands out there that will roll or just slide off you. I'm glad I don't wear skirts or I'd be walking around like a hobbled horse.

OK, now resume eating your breakfast, but I beg someone out there to invent underwear suspenders.

5 Comments:

Blogger darev2005 said...

I know how you feel. I gots me a bad case of noassatall, too. I get a hard time about it when I wear tight jeans. They'll be tight everywhere else, but hang loose over my lack of a butt. I got no hips, either. Always having to hitch up my duty belt at work. Wish I could get suspenders for it as well.

5:08 AM  
Anonymous Auntie said...

Go commando! Problem solved.

Of course that if it doesn't feel weird to have the "boys" wandering free to roam.

6:42 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Darev, I hear you. You need to address the situation to your uniform committee, though I can see a problem with it where you work.

Auntie, and what happens if I end up in the hospital after being hit by a bus?

5:27 AM  
Blogger dalia said...

THIS. MADE. ME. HOWL.

My 49-year-old white-guy boyfriend is lamenting his own ass recession...I think he'd be keen on underwear suspenders (suspunders?) Let me know if you find any!

haha!

Thanks for the chuckle!

10:15 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Dalia, tell him it's to make room for adult diapers later in life.

5:21 AM  

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