Saturday, January 15, 2011

Enough With Alaska Already


What's the deal with Alaska? I think there is way too much television time dedicated to the state. Think about it. Here is a list of the reality shows I'm aware of that feature Alaska: Ice Road Truckers, Tougher in Alaska, The Deadliest Catch, R-5 Sons Alaska, Sarah Palin's Alaska, Alaska State Troopers, Gold Rush Alaska, Flying Wild Alaska, The Alaska Experiment. There are probably more.

If the Discovery/TLC/History channels want some ideas I'll be happy to share some of mine with them.

Mosquitoes Alaska: A show where they have contests to see how many mosquitoes can be killed with one swat of the hand. The season winner gets a lifetime supply of Deet.

Alaska Bears: A show that shows candid footage of bears shitting in the woods.

I'm Screwed Alaska: A forensic show about all the stupid things people do to get killed in Alaska.

Screw You Alaska: A show about what Canadians really think about their neighbor to the West.

Wild Food Alaska: A show about all the disgusting foods the natives eat like seal flipper and stink eggs.

Loser Alaska: A show about losers from the lower 48 that go up and continue to be totally unemployable even in Alaska.

Don't Cha Know Alaska: A show that continues to portray the life of comedian Sarah Palin as she defiles nature, makes up words, history and geography and shares her Moma Bear values with the media.

9 Comments:

Blogger Donna said...

This made me smile. I am so NOT interested in Alaska that I have never watched any of the series you named. Cliff watched a few Ice Road Truckers episodes, then said they're all alike and stopped watching.

4:34 AM  
Blogger darev2005 said...

Screw you Alaska... hee hee hee! I heard a rumor they are going to start on Indiana next year. That should be interesting!

9:17 AM  
Blogger g said...

I can see Russia from your Alaska.

6:23 PM  
Blogger Amy said...

"...and by looking at the bear crap, we can see the bear has eaten berries, a squirrel, and hey....isn't that Bob?!"

Good grief. I'll be the first to admit that watching a bear scratch an itch against a tree is amusing, but there's a limit!

8:16 PM  
Anonymous Joni said...

I'm with you...ENOUGH Alaska already! Oh, and this is from a gal who's brother has written two books, "Alaska Happens", and "Blood on the Tundra", about when he was a fishing and hunting guide in Alaska. If I was that interested, I would GO there!

9:34 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Donna, not only are they all alike, but if you took out the sections they keep replaying over and over throughout the show you are left with maybe 10 minutes of content.

Darev, yes it's a show about all the different suppers you can make that use mushroom soup as an ingredient.

g, but can you see the Wanna Mill from Brownsmead? I know you can smell it.

Amy, let's hope they don't start any more shows on Texas.

Joni, Nice way to plug ; )

7:12 AM  
Blogger qandlequeen said...

Funny you mention it because I was thinking the same thing. I do enjoy gold rush and I've actually heard some rumblings of interest in Sarah Palin's, but I refuse to watch that on principal alone.

Maybe it's the Oregonian in me that knows most of those shows could be shot in Washington, Oregon and northern California. And yes, I like your suggestions.

10:15 AM  
Blogger g said...

can't see it or smell it.

prevailing smell is when the weavers or the rohnes spray cow shit.

2:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

QQ they filmed Northern Exposure in Washington.

g, perhaps a move to AK is in order. You could become governor for a half term and walk away with all sorts of cash and a wardrobe from Nordstrom's and Macy's.

Guy

3:38 PM  

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