Monday, June 18, 2007

Well, I Never...!

Because Beth brought it up after I wrote this article Things I Haven't Done, I feel obligated to expose other things I have not done, but this time the things are not of a sexual nature.

I have never killed anyone or attempted to kill anyone. I have never been in a fist fight. I have never served in the military. I have never been without health, auto, or homeowners insurance. I have never colored my hair, nor have I been pierced or tattooed. I have never attempted suicide.

I have never been to another continent. I have never ridden in a Rolls Royce or a Bently. I've never ridden on a cow.

I have not been to a movie theater in the last three years. ( I know the previous item isn’t something I’ve never done, but I’m proud of my three-year avoidance.)

I have never joined a fraternal or a service organization. I never do anything or go anywhere without an exit strategy or an excuse to leave in an instant.


Blogger Auntie said...

Guy, not one of these "nevers" surprised me :)

5:55 AM  
Blogger Beth said...

Your mind is a strange and wonderful thing!
"I've never ridden a cow."
I'm sure that's true but how did you ever come up with something like that? Why not an elephant?
The exit strategy/excuse - I like that although it doesn't point to you being much of an "social" optimist.

8:17 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

I've never eaten a lizard either.

Auntie, you know me too well.

Beth, because I've ridden an elephant. Actually that thought came from an insult my wife once suffered when she had an Arabian horse. Some local idiot said to her, "Arabian horses are for people who can't afford a real horse and are too proud to ride a cow."

8:31 AM  
Blogger Boo7 said...

Roflmao Guy!!! Great list!!

Nice to visit again.....:)

And your "exit strategy"?? I do that same thing....goes hand in hand with my dislike of sitting in a restaurant with my back to the room.....can't stand that!!!

Hugssssssssssss to you my friend!

4:20 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Booooooo! Darlin, welcome back! I missed you.

5:35 AM  

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