Sunday, December 30, 2007

Wooden Flutes

I try to be tolerant of all sorts of music, but there is one type of music that I simply can’t stand. It makes me want to stab my ears with ice picks. The music that does that to me is wooden flute music. I don't care if it is Asian, Native American; I just can’t stand it and all the phony spiritual claims the flutists make, like their instruments are sacred, or that the music they create is the breath and voices of the spirits. It even gets worse when a non native plays and makes the same claims. Wannabe rat bastards, all of them.

It's sad to say, but I'd rather listen to bag pipes and harmonicas than ever be subjected to a wooden flute music again. Which reminds me, I wonder how Auntie is doing with her accordion?


Blogger Auntie said...

Auntie and her accordion have not had much time to bond lately. One of these nights I will hoist a cup in honor of some dead person or other and try to make some noise come out of it again.

8:25 AM  
Anonymous gearhead said...

Don't feel alone there, Auntie.
Since the 6th grade, I have played my accordion exactly once each year. Now it has become a custom.

8:31 AM  
Blogger Beth said...

In High School I played (was forced to play) the flute. It was metal. Even had it been wood, there's no way anything spiritual or sacred would have come out of it.

8:41 AM  
Blogger Jaggy said...

Um, well, how do I put this?

I have two flutes. I've made some pretty incredible things come out of a flute - quality sound even (luck? skill?). I've spent many years in music ensembles, and I don't really have a "least favorite" instrument.

Most favorite, probably a piano, but I've a heavy bias there. :) I think someone talented can make any instrument sound beautiful. Even the oboe.

Okay, I've never heard anything come out of an oboe that really spoke to me...

Then again, I play the flute. :P

9:09 AM  
Blogger Lachlan said...

Ouch, Guy. Bayou is learning to play one she had specially made. I don't know if she considers it sacred (I doubt it), but it's important to her- and it is symbol of her Native ancestry.

Still, I can relate- there are certain types of music that grate on everyone. I stay away from polka, and it stays away from me, and both of us come out unscathed. ;-)

9:15 AM  
Anonymous Columbiacontrolfreak said...

The only person I've heard play a wooden flute that I'd listen to again was a real indian who'd never had a music lesson. His father taught him to play traditional music and some pretty damned good classical.

9:28 AM  
Blogger Patrick McGee said...


Some would say to your lack of "Spirituality.

11:59 AM  
Blogger Hahn at Home said...

Awwww, and there is one piece of wooden flute music I love. I'm such a freak.

1:00 PM  
Blogger Auntie said...

I also played the flute for 8 years or so. What about Zamphir and his magical Pan-flute? Do you feel the same about that?

4:25 PM  
Blogger Syd said...

I'm not a fan either. But, I'm fairly certain that bagpipes are played in hell. Constantly.

5:31 PM  
Blogger Mike S said...

Damn, I love flute music, but then I like almost all music. Even bagpipes & polka. Hip Hop and Rap leave me cold though, and Punk is very iffy. Got a buncha relatives that play traditional N.A.(hate that term) music, but the only spirits I sense are generally of the distilled variety:)

12:00 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Auntie, keep us posted. And I'm not bothered by pan flutes.

Gearhead, and what would be that day?

Beth, they forced you? What the hell kind of school did you go to?

Jaggy, the Alfred Hitchcock theme song was oboe at its best.

Lach, don't let her get too carried away and get all cosmic on us. Oops, may be too late, I remember all of her posts from her trip last year. Looks like I'm due for some Mississippi ass whoopin when we meet.

CCF, that's exactly what I'm talking about, slow, echoie home made music. Drives me crazy. They had two of those players on Oregon Art Beat two weeks ago. I had to turn it off.

Patrick, I am not a believer in anything. I'm actually amazed I wake up every morning.

Lori, I'll look at it the next time I'm in town with my laptop. I'm on a dial-up and that is not conducive to downloading video files. I know, folks are amazed that I'm still computing in the stone age, but I have no regular need for speed, and my dial-up only cost me $90 per year.

Syd, be strong, and remember we are going there together.

Mike, do they do that shouting around the drum as well? That would be next on my list after wooden flutes. Sorry, but hey...

5:25 AM  
Blogger wrichards said...

I hate flutes. I don't care if they're wooden or not.

But it's because my parents promised I could have any instrument I wanted, if I took 2 years of piano lessons. Well, I took the lessons and asked for a guitar. I got a flute. That turned me against flutes and birthday gifts.

What type of parent would do that to their kid, with the excuse of "I think you'll enjoy it"?

11:22 AM  
Blogger Mike S said...

The 'shouting part' sux!!:)

4:37 AM  

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