Wednesday, January 02, 2008

I Am A Total Douche


I am a total douche when it comes to sports. I’ve never had any interest in sports other than the kid-ly thing of joining a town baseball team when I was really young. This was the version of little league for people too young to be a Little Leaguer. I was quickly poisoned against baseball because our coach was a real bastard and refused to participate in the last few games of the season.

I have never watched an entire basketball game, nor have I ever watched an entire football game. To me, golf is a way to ruin a good walk in a park. Auto racing? A real athletic foot needed there. Soccer? Is that still trying to become an event here?

Recently I realized that I have no idea who anyone is in sports. Their names and faces mean nothing to me. I suspect there are a lot of people like me because when you see a sports guy doing a commercial, they usually have to dress them in a uniform so people will get who they are.

I find it hard to believe that people are so wrapped up in these games and events which will be totally forgotten in a matter of months, unless you are a sports trivia nut. I find it hard to believe there is so much money dumped not only in the sports, but salaried to the players. I mean you should probably make 8 million dollars a year if you can make and guarantee world peace, but not when the only thing you generate are meaningless points.

17 Comments:

Blogger Donna said...

My thoughts exactly. The only time I'm remotely interested in a sport is when the Kansas City Chiefs are doing well (which hasn't happened in decades). And even then, I sit at my computer in the other room when they're on TV and holler to my husband from time to time, "What's happening?"

6:21 AM  
Blogger Beth said...

Confession - I am a sports nut. Hockey only. The love of the game was instilled in me as a child - a very Canadian kind of tradition. Saturday night is "Hockey Night in Canada."

6:30 AM  
Blogger Auntie said...

Touche`, Douche!

7:01 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Donna, I don't even follow horse sports.

Beth, funny thing about Hockey is that we used to call it "Honkey" since it seems to be a bunch of brutal white guys with sticks.

Auntie,...I cant think of any snotty comeback.

9:25 AM  
Anonymous gearhead said...

Of all of the many many many many many reasons to call you a douche, your attitude on sports is not one.
Your view on sports, moves you one notch in the +anti-douche direction.
If you want to know at a glimpse why our country is going down the drain, just look to see how the majority of US Douche-Bag males spend their Sundays.
They are either burping over their beer watching sports, or even worse yet.....

10:25 AM  
Blogger Rich said...

Guy, you sound too much like me. I was on precisely two sports teams as a kid. One baseball and one football. Both teams finished in first place, but I was a bench warmer type on both teams--one of the kids who gets put in for an inning or a couple plays when the lead has already been cemented. I never had any desire to do either again.

I do consider myself a Redskins fan, but I've never understood the rabid sports enthusiast. Once the game is over I have no desire to watch two more games the same day or to follow the details of the team's activities the rest of the week or year.

Oh, and I hate basketball, but hockey is pretty cool though I don't pay much attention to it. I've been to a few hockey games and it beats any other spectator sports I've been to.

11:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL! That is what is so funny about sports being used to "unite" the world with the Olympics, it is the training ground for war, and politics.

11:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, did you see this article on MSN? How come its not about YOU? http://video.msn.com/video.aspx?mkt=en-us&tab=s2&vid=ef0d7445-416f-430b-9ecd-b50f9e81dd01&playlist=search:q:greenenvironment:mk:us:sd:-1:sf:ActiveStartDate:vs:1:cs:Msnbc&from=MSNHP>1=10755 Saving trash for a year

11:46 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Gerahead, I knew you would comment on this one.

Rich Redskin=hotdog, right?

Anon, Hitler in 37, US Boycot of Moscowand murder. Something, isn't it.

Other Anon, I couldn't get that video to run. I copied and pasted the address. BTW, with all the storm damage I will probably be going to the dump sooner than 12 months this year. Though I could leave it in a pile and let it wait until September.

12:44 PM  
Blogger Rich said...

Redkins = potatoes

This is the guy's blog for the video link that wasn't there for me either. He saved a year's worth of his trash in his apartment.
http://saveyourtrash.typepad.com/

4:48 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

It's not that hard to do once you get control of what you buy. If I lived alone I would probably only need to go every three or four years. Really.

4:57 PM  
Blogger Mom of Three said...

Och, Guy, so sardonic!

It's entertainment, and I agree that sports stars are paid far too much, just like other entertainers. But all you need to know is Steelers. Saturday. Playoffs. Kickoff: 8 p.m. EST. Whoo!

12:53 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

So sad, Mo3, so sad...

5:27 AM  
Blogger matt_stansberry said...

You sir, are not a douche. But I have to defend high school wrestling. I was none too skilled on the little league thing, and was too small to be very good at football, but throw a kid into a situation where he's got a fight with someone his own size... no equipment, no crowds, just two little dorks scrapping it out. Now that's a sport.

8:48 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

That reminds me of gym class wrestling in high school when I, 6'2" was up against a 5'8" fireplug. He cleaned my clock so fast my head was spinning.

9:36 AM  
Anonymous Heather said...

I am now officially including the word douche into my everyday vocabulary. There's nothing like it.

10:09 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

It's a little something I brought with me from the East Coast.

10:29 PM  

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